Friday, February 08, 2008

Juggling in 3D 367: Say What You See

Welcome to all our new subscribers this week. And thanks to the youth mentors in Cambridgeshire who came up with this week's title!

If you're changing career and not sure what to do next, do come along to from Feb 29th-March 2nd. Advance tickets are at reduced price. And check the schedule on the One Life website to find out when we are speaking each day on the Main Stage at in the Woman and Home Theatre.

Claire writes: "The technical term is dissonance. The reality is that sometimes people will say one thing and their body language and whole demeanour will be saying something else. Sometimes there is just a mismatch, but usually something else is going on. The skill of the coach or, in fact, the good friend or colleague is to say what you see. No interpretation. No inference. Just to say what you notice. I have seen huge power in simple interventions like that in coaching which I have observed over the last couple of weeks.

It's the simplicity which carries the power. When a friend tells you how excited they are about all the extra work they've taken on, yet they look weighed down, the power is just to say what you notice. Quick reaction often forces us into: Are you sure you're not working too hard? I think you may have taken on too much. You must be careful. Those comments often produce defensiveness in their receivers. Simple is powerful: I hear you telling me how exciting the work is. And I see your body looking exhausted. What's that about?

It works with what you hear, as well!"

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