3D Juggling 530: Thinking and Crying
Jane writes: "I read an article recently called ‘It is a crying shame we don’t weep more’. It referred to research by Professor Gail Kinman who stated ‘Many people feel cleansed after a good cry’.
According to a Tears Factsheet published by the College of Optometrists the tears brought about by emotion contain a different chemical make-up than other tears; they have more protein. It has been suggested that by excreting these hormones in the form of tears, your body helps you feel calmer and less emotional afterwards.
So if someone you’re with needs to cry – let it happen. Don’t judge them by their ability to ‘hold themselves together’, allow them to connect with and respond to their grief, anger, happiness or pain, and potentially benefit from doing so.
Nancy Kline understands this. Read Chapter 9 in her book ‘Time to Think’ where she talks about how crying can make you smarter.
Kinman says ‘We cannot sustain strong emotions for very long and have to dampen them somehow. A good cry is a great way of doing that.’
What can you do when someone needs to cry at work? Think about it..."
© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Showing posts with label managing people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label managing people. Show all posts
Monday, June 13, 2011
Friday, October 01, 2010
3D Juggling 497: Orange Juice
We had a great day on Saturday with year 13s writing UCAS statements: "An excellent short course on the basics to understanding what needs to be in your personal statement, excellent for a starting point and for working out what unique things you offer." There'll be another one on 27th November.
Jane writes: "Are you sometimes surprised by what comes out of people? Maybe its anger that you didn't expect in response to something you did or said. Maybe it's what feels like inappropriate tears or laughter.
We are all unique individuals and it is sometimes worth reminding ourselves that those people who know us well are willing to forgive us things that others might not. This is because they know some of our story; they understand why certain things might trigger extreme responses. When we are working with people whose stories we don't know, and this will often be at ‘work’, it can be easy to be confused or irritated by responses that we didn't anticipate. Especially when these get in the way of us getting the job done.
I was reminded recently of a quote from Wayne Dyer. “When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.”
What comes out of you when you're squeezed, maybe as a result of somebody else's behaviour or an unexpected piece of news? Has it ever surprised you? Remember that others may also be surprised by what comes out of them when they're under pressure. You won't help them by judging them, or by focusing on how their response is making you feel. You might help them by acknowledging their response and allowing it. Their response is likely to be the only one that is possible at that moment. You don't need to know why, but you do need to let them know that it's okay to be feeling that way.
How confident you do you feel about helping them to be okay with how they’re feeling and how that is being expressed? How do you help them to focus on where they need to be next?
Talk to us about working with difference. We can support this through the development of coaching skills and action learning sets in your organisation, or maybe just through helping you learn how to have different types of conversations when faced with unexpected responses to what's going on around you."
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
We had a great day on Saturday with year 13s writing UCAS statements: "An excellent short course on the basics to understanding what needs to be in your personal statement, excellent for a starting point and for working out what unique things you offer." There'll be another one on 27th November.
Jane writes: "Are you sometimes surprised by what comes out of people? Maybe its anger that you didn't expect in response to something you did or said. Maybe it's what feels like inappropriate tears or laughter.
We are all unique individuals and it is sometimes worth reminding ourselves that those people who know us well are willing to forgive us things that others might not. This is because they know some of our story; they understand why certain things might trigger extreme responses. When we are working with people whose stories we don't know, and this will often be at ‘work’, it can be easy to be confused or irritated by responses that we didn't anticipate. Especially when these get in the way of us getting the job done.
I was reminded recently of a quote from Wayne Dyer. “When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out - because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.”
What comes out of you when you're squeezed, maybe as a result of somebody else's behaviour or an unexpected piece of news? Has it ever surprised you? Remember that others may also be surprised by what comes out of them when they're under pressure. You won't help them by judging them, or by focusing on how their response is making you feel. You might help them by acknowledging their response and allowing it. Their response is likely to be the only one that is possible at that moment. You don't need to know why, but you do need to let them know that it's okay to be feeling that way.
How confident you do you feel about helping them to be okay with how they’re feeling and how that is being expressed? How do you help them to focus on where they need to be next?
Talk to us about working with difference. We can support this through the development of coaching skills and action learning sets in your organisation, or maybe just through helping you learn how to have different types of conversations when faced with unexpected responses to what's going on around you."
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Friday, May 28, 2010
3D Juggling 480: Stormy Weather Forecast
Last Monday, the UK government announced a £6 billion cut in public spending. As a result, we are a offering free place at our Career Makeover event on 5 June to anyone whose job is at risk as a result of that announcement.
Claire writes: 'The fallout from the recession is still affecting the private sector. Cuts in public funding will mean that the public sector is also in for a stormy future. How do you lead in a time of uncertainty?
We were thinking about this a few days ago and playing with the idea of swimming safely in a stormy sea:
In the sea, you identify and draw on whatever resources are available to remain safe, and try to travel to land effectively. What resources can you identify and draw on now to remain effective in your organisation? Other people need to absorb some of the work which will need to continue post-cuts. What needs to happen to manage that in a way which honours the work, the staff, and the customer?
How rough is your sea?'
Love this? If this is the reality in your organisation and you'd like to talk about how to support staff through the transition, call us and we can meet for a coffee. It's on us!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Last Monday, the UK government announced a £6 billion cut in public spending. As a result, we are a offering free place at our Career Makeover event on 5 June to anyone whose job is at risk as a result of that announcement.
Claire writes: 'The fallout from the recession is still affecting the private sector. Cuts in public funding will mean that the public sector is also in for a stormy future. How do you lead in a time of uncertainty?
We were thinking about this a few days ago and playing with the idea of swimming safely in a stormy sea:
- Which waves do you choose to ride, which do you avoid?
- Where is the lifeguard?
- What was your lifejacket look like?
- How do you learn to swim with the tide and keep safe?
- Where are the most helpful channels and currents?
- Who else is in the water with you? Panicking swimmers can pull others down. Sharks circle groups of people, rather than attacking them.
- If you're going to be in the water for a long time, do you need a wetsuit? Or goose fat?
- What you need to do now to make sure there will be a lifeguard on the beach?
In the sea, you identify and draw on whatever resources are available to remain safe, and try to travel to land effectively. What resources can you identify and draw on now to remain effective in your organisation? Other people need to absorb some of the work which will need to continue post-cuts. What needs to happen to manage that in a way which honours the work, the staff, and the customer?
How rough is your sea?'
Love this? If this is the reality in your organisation and you'd like to talk about how to support staff through the transition, call us and we can meet for a coffee. It's on us!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Friday, February 12, 2010
3D Juggling 465: Why don’t they listen?
Jane writes: "I have a collection of postcards that I often use when working with groups. I invite group members to rummage through them and find one or two that they can use to help them describe something -maybe how it feels for them to be in their team, or what they want to achieve by the end of our time together. Out of all my postcards there are a few that almost always get selected. One of them shows a child holding the face of her mother in her hands to gain her attention and saying ‘Listen!’.
People use this picture to help them explain how they feel when no-one hears them, or when an organisation is unwilling to hear about issues that an individual or team believe are really important. Sometimes when an individual feels that they are not being heard it may be because they don’t know how to say what they need to say, and sometimes it may be that their target is not able to hear what they’re saying.
There are two things for us to take responsibility for here:
• working out what we need as a result of communicating (‘What is my desired outcome?’) so that we can work out what we need to say
• paying attention to others when they try to tell us something and checking that the message we received was the one they intended us to receive
What difference would that make in your workplace?
Because it can be difficult to do both of these things we offer a tool that helps individuals and teams to understand why they find it more difficult to be heard by some people or groups than others, and what they can do about it. We also use this tool to explore why we find some people harder to listen to than others, and how to help those people to help us to hear them.
We have used this tool to help people to raise difficult issues safely, building relationships where there was a fear that relationships might be harmed. We have used it to help team members resolve conflicts, enabling the team to work effectively so that it can regain credibility with its customers. We have used it to help teams’ present issues to senior managers with the needs of those managers so clear to them that their message, although challenging, was welcomed.
How could this tool help you?"
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who says listen or who you would like to listen!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Jane writes: "I have a collection of postcards that I often use when working with groups. I invite group members to rummage through them and find one or two that they can use to help them describe something -maybe how it feels for them to be in their team, or what they want to achieve by the end of our time together. Out of all my postcards there are a few that almost always get selected. One of them shows a child holding the face of her mother in her hands to gain her attention and saying ‘Listen!’.
People use this picture to help them explain how they feel when no-one hears them, or when an organisation is unwilling to hear about issues that an individual or team believe are really important. Sometimes when an individual feels that they are not being heard it may be because they don’t know how to say what they need to say, and sometimes it may be that their target is not able to hear what they’re saying.
There are two things for us to take responsibility for here:
• working out what we need as a result of communicating (‘What is my desired outcome?’) so that we can work out what we need to say
• paying attention to others when they try to tell us something and checking that the message we received was the one they intended us to receive
What difference would that make in your workplace?
Because it can be difficult to do both of these things we offer a tool that helps individuals and teams to understand why they find it more difficult to be heard by some people or groups than others, and what they can do about it. We also use this tool to explore why we find some people harder to listen to than others, and how to help those people to help us to hear them.
We have used this tool to help people to raise difficult issues safely, building relationships where there was a fear that relationships might be harmed. We have used it to help team members resolve conflicts, enabling the team to work effectively so that it can regain credibility with its customers. We have used it to help teams’ present issues to senior managers with the needs of those managers so clear to them that their message, although challenging, was welcomed.
How could this tool help you?"
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who says listen or who you would like to listen!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Friday, January 29, 2010
3D Juggling 463: Customer Service
Claire writes: 'Why is it that I have just received the best customer service ever from the doctor's receptionist? And I'm still annoyed? I had to book a blood test this week and went to the counter to book an appointment. The first response was: 'You'll have to wait for two weeks.' When I asked whether there was anything I could do to speed that up, I was told: 'You could go to the hospital and queue.' I think I must have pulled an 'Oh, no' face. Then the receptionist said: 'Or you could go to the cottage hospital in 2 days time. They have an appointment at 2.33pm and I can book you in now.'
At work - and at home - we only get one go at having a conversation well. If we don't communicate well, then we begin the next one with a level of negativity on both sides. That lady gave me what I wanted and more. But after two interventions which I received as negative and unhelpful I am still left knowing she was excellent. And feeling that she was grumpy.
That's why we advocate real play - when you have the conversation you need to have with a colleague or a customer out loud. In advance. Then you can listen to how it will be received and change or modify what you will say. Because live on the day, you only get one go. Had she given me choices from the outset, I could be telling you how great that receptionist was. But I am still left with the impression that she was grumpy.'
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who would benefit from real play.
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Claire writes: 'Why is it that I have just received the best customer service ever from the doctor's receptionist? And I'm still annoyed? I had to book a blood test this week and went to the counter to book an appointment. The first response was: 'You'll have to wait for two weeks.' When I asked whether there was anything I could do to speed that up, I was told: 'You could go to the hospital and queue.' I think I must have pulled an 'Oh, no' face. Then the receptionist said: 'Or you could go to the cottage hospital in 2 days time. They have an appointment at 2.33pm and I can book you in now.'
At work - and at home - we only get one go at having a conversation well. If we don't communicate well, then we begin the next one with a level of negativity on both sides. That lady gave me what I wanted and more. But after two interventions which I received as negative and unhelpful I am still left knowing she was excellent. And feeling that she was grumpy.
That's why we advocate real play - when you have the conversation you need to have with a colleague or a customer out loud. In advance. Then you can listen to how it will be received and change or modify what you will say. Because live on the day, you only get one go. Had she given me choices from the outset, I could be telling you how great that receptionist was. But I am still left with the impression that she was grumpy.'
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who would benefit from real play.
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Monday, January 04, 2010
3D Juggling 459: Wrapping Paper
Happy New Year to you. We’re all back from various adventures over Christmas and looking forward to working with you in 2010. First stop is to set new dates for Coaching for Excellence. We have found a venue and will let you know dates asap.
Lynn writes: “As soon as I finished the Christmas wrapping for another year, I wondered: Why do you never have the correct size paper left over? Is it just me who cuts the paper the wrong size even after measuring it? And what about all those presents that are really awkward shapes and take a degree in mechanics to work out how to wrap them?
I started thinking about how when you work with a group of people the “same piece of paper” will not fit all and trying to recycle the same idea and information may not always be effective. Similarly why do we approach those unusual people as awkward presents who are difficult to fit within our standard wrapping. How much more interesting are they to work with and when you find a way to wrap them they look so much more interesting under the tree. So in 2010 I am going to expand my wrapping skills and try patching and cutting non-rectangular paper. Perhaps I will even see what happens if I don’t wrap the presents at all… I hope this will help me better celebrate the difference within those I meet and with whom I work.”
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who sends interesting gifts.
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Happy New Year to you. We’re all back from various adventures over Christmas and looking forward to working with you in 2010. First stop is to set new dates for Coaching for Excellence. We have found a venue and will let you know dates asap.
Lynn writes: “As soon as I finished the Christmas wrapping for another year, I wondered: Why do you never have the correct size paper left over? Is it just me who cuts the paper the wrong size even after measuring it? And what about all those presents that are really awkward shapes and take a degree in mechanics to work out how to wrap them?
I started thinking about how when you work with a group of people the “same piece of paper” will not fit all and trying to recycle the same idea and information may not always be effective. Similarly why do we approach those unusual people as awkward presents who are difficult to fit within our standard wrapping. How much more interesting are they to work with and when you find a way to wrap them they look so much more interesting under the tree. So in 2010 I am going to expand my wrapping skills and try patching and cutting non-rectangular paper. Perhaps I will even see what happens if I don’t wrap the presents at all… I hope this will help me better celebrate the difference within those I meet and with whom I work.”
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who sends interesting gifts.
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
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