3D Juggling 465: Why don’t they listen?

Jane writes: "I have a collection of postcards that I often use when working with groups. I invite group members to rummage through them and find one or two that they can use to help them describe something -maybe how it feels for them to be in their team, or what they want to achieve by the end of our time together. Out of all my postcards there are a few that almost always get selected. One of them shows a child holding the face of her mother in her hands to gain her attention and saying ‘Listen!’.

People use this picture to help them explain how they feel when no-one hears them, or when an organisation is unwilling to hear about issues that an individual or team believe are really important. Sometimes when an individual feels that they are not being heard it may be because they don’t know how to say what they need to say, and sometimes it may be that their target is not able to hear what they’re saying.

There are two things for us to take responsibility for here:
• working out what we need as a result of communicating (‘What is my desired outcome?’) so that we can work out what we need to say
• paying attention to others when they try to tell us something and checking that the message we received was the one they intended us to receive

What difference would that make in your workplace?

Because it can be difficult to do both of these things we offer a tool that helps individuals and teams to understand why they find it more difficult to be heard by some people or groups than others, and what they can do about it. We also use this tool to explore why we find some people harder to listen to than others, and how to help those people to help us to hear them.

We have used this tool to help people to raise difficult issues safely, building relationships where there was a fear that relationships might be harmed. We have used it to help team members resolve conflicts, enabling the team to work effectively so that it can regain credibility with its customers. We have used it to help teams’ present issues to senior managers with the needs of those managers so clear to them that their message, although challenging, was welcomed.

How could this tool help you?"

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who says listen or who you would like to listen!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/


© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 451: Driving On The Motorway

Claire writes: 'A friend is having panic attacks when he drives on the motorway and we were talking about how he can resolve it. He has tried loads of therapeutic solutions including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Hypnotherapy. Although it has increased his confidence in the room, it's not made a significant different when he's in the car and drives past the blue motorway signs. 'What I really need', he said, is 'driving lessons... but I passed my test a long time ago.'

What he realises he needs is a driving instructor who will go with him, in his car, on the motorway. It's not what the instructor will expect when they receive the phone call. But it's good news for my friend and the instructor. To get that he needs to clearly state what he needs. In organisations that's called coaching up. If he's not clear, he'll get the instructor's solution and could end up doing three point turns with the teenagers!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/


© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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Coming Soon:

21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training - London
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

3D Juggling 422: Whirlpools

There's an Action Learning Set Facilitator Training coming up on 27th April and a new Coaching for Excellence starting in July. If you'd like to come, email sue@3dcoaching.com

Claire writes: "How often do we get in the way when we are listening to other people at work? As soon as we start thinking 'Oh really', 'Oh dear', 'Oh no...', we begin to get hooked into the story which we are hearing. And if the teller is feeling in a whirlpool, there's a high risk that we'll jump into the whirlpool as well!

Using a coaching approach at work means keeping out of the whirlpool. Keeping out! Because once we jump in, we both start to thrash about looking for a solution and a way forward. The coaches ability to help their colleague explore the situation from a new perspective is dependent on them being objective. And when the temptation is to dive in and rescue your colleague, consider what will happen next time they find a similar problem. Unless this is an emergency, it is usually far more productive to work with your colleague to come to a good solution themselves. The skill is to help them to see a way forward - by listening and helping them to see their situation differently."

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who dives in!

Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com