3D Juggling 531: The importance of context
Claire writes: "After a recent coaching supervision where we had been exploring the power of saying very little, I said to the coach: 'Less is More'. She responded: 'Even less is even more.'
I was so struck by the powerfulness of her comment that I put it on Twitter. And received many strange responses including: I was puzzled because the logical extension was that nothing is everything. Either very profound or... :)
I still think 'Even less is even more' is profound in one to one conversations which are so often full of noise. And it's also a great lesson of the importance of context! Think about it..."
© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Less is More
In 'Techniques for Coaching and Mentoring ', Megginson and Clutterbuck suggest that "It takes approximately 4.5 seconds of silence on the car radio for the average person in western society to change channels. Silence is a phenomenon we are ill equipped to handle; we attempt to fill it as quickly as possible. Yet silence truly can be golden"
If you are a coach, and you know that you talk too much, contract with your client at the beginning of the conversation that you won't break the silence - it's up to your client to tell you when they are ready to speak again.
Showing posts with label silence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silence. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Monday, November 01, 2010
3D Juggling 501: No words
On BBC 2s Big Silence last week, Christopher Jameson said "Life would be transformed for the better if we learned to embrace silence". When that's positive it's transformational... but that's not always the case:
Jane writes: "I am reading a book called ‘The Help’ by Kathryn Stockett where she talks about a series of events which initiated a feeling of great bitterness. The character describes how her face went hot and her tongue went twitchy. She didn't know what to say, all she knew was that she wasn't saying it. She knew that the other person involved wasn't saying what she wanted to say either and noticed that there was a strange thing happening where nobody was saying anything yet they were still managing to have a conversation.
Sound familiar? Sometimes we don't respond to what we see and feel because we don't know how to in a way that keeps us safe. Sometimes we don't respond because we don't think it’s our place to do so.
What difference could it make in your organisation if you could help others to acknowledge and respond to what's really going on, to what's being understood through those silent conversations? Could you save the time that is currently being spent on trying to keep the lid on things, and then on dealing with the fallout with the lid flies off? Maybe less time spent dealing with grievances and investigations?
We try to keep our coaching interventions very simple. Simple does not mean easy. We aim to help other coaches achieve simplicity through our Coaching for Excellence development programme, where we strip away all the complexities that have become associated with effective coaching and focus on the core skill of truly listening, of responding to what they see and feel as well as what they hear.
Talk to us about how we can help you through supervision, or about our Coaching for Excellence programme."
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
On BBC 2s Big Silence last week, Christopher Jameson said "Life would be transformed for the better if we learned to embrace silence". When that's positive it's transformational... but that's not always the case:
Jane writes: "I am reading a book called ‘The Help’ by Kathryn Stockett where she talks about a series of events which initiated a feeling of great bitterness. The character describes how her face went hot and her tongue went twitchy. She didn't know what to say, all she knew was that she wasn't saying it. She knew that the other person involved wasn't saying what she wanted to say either and noticed that there was a strange thing happening where nobody was saying anything yet they were still managing to have a conversation.
Sound familiar? Sometimes we don't respond to what we see and feel because we don't know how to in a way that keeps us safe. Sometimes we don't respond because we don't think it’s our place to do so.
What difference could it make in your organisation if you could help others to acknowledge and respond to what's really going on, to what's being understood through those silent conversations? Could you save the time that is currently being spent on trying to keep the lid on things, and then on dealing with the fallout with the lid flies off? Maybe less time spent dealing with grievances and investigations?
We try to keep our coaching interventions very simple. Simple does not mean easy. We aim to help other coaches achieve simplicity through our Coaching for Excellence development programme, where we strip away all the complexities that have become associated with effective coaching and focus on the core skill of truly listening, of responding to what they see and feel as well as what they hear.
Talk to us about how we can help you through supervision, or about our Coaching for Excellence programme."
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Monday, September 06, 2010
3D Juggling 491: A Time to Share.... and a time to stay quiet
Su writes: "I arrived very early at the office this morning in order to get some outstanding work completed. In a large open plan office there is just me and one other colleague, head down, working. I fly through my work but with a sense of calm and enjoyment which comes from the knowledge that I am not going to be interrupted. It is nice to have the quiet companionship of a co-worker. The only sounds come from the clicking of the keys and the gentle white noise of the office.
It crosses my mind that I should turn round and tell my colleague what a good way to work this is, without the interruptions and with this calming peace around..... then I realise that to do this would be to destroy it. I would become an interruption.
Best to keep that gem to myself. Knowing when and when not to share is my first lesson today."
Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to make time to think, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Su writes: "I arrived very early at the office this morning in order to get some outstanding work completed. In a large open plan office there is just me and one other colleague, head down, working. I fly through my work but with a sense of calm and enjoyment which comes from the knowledge that I am not going to be interrupted. It is nice to have the quiet companionship of a co-worker. The only sounds come from the clicking of the keys and the gentle white noise of the office.
It crosses my mind that I should turn round and tell my colleague what a good way to work this is, without the interruptions and with this calming peace around..... then I realise that to do this would be to destroy it. I would become an interruption.
Best to keep that gem to myself. Knowing when and when not to share is my first lesson today."
Love this? If you need some help in your organisation to make time to think, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you. We'll pay!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Thursday, April 01, 2010
3D Juggling 471: Listen!
Claire writes: 'Did you know that SILENT and LISTEN contain the same letters...
Try it!
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes to talk!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Claire writes: 'Did you know that SILENT and LISTEN contain the same letters...
Try it!
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes to talk!
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Friday, December 18, 2009
3D Juggling 458: Waste Time Well
A very Happy Christmas to you from all the 3D team. The office is closed now until Monday 4th January and we look forward to catching up with you on our return.
Claire writes: 'Most of us will have time off over Christmas. After all the preparations and the rush to clear your work before the holiday, how will you spend your time? Are you scheduled out with family commitments or shifts to cover? Or do you have time to choose? Our Christmas present to you is to ask you to spend some time doing nothing well. It's easy to spend all holiday thinking: 'In a minute I ought to...', to potter and then to end up unsure of what we've done with a sense of having achieved nothing.
Consider the question: If I was to waste time today and feel great about it afterwards, what would I do? It may be choosing to potter and to have no sense of guilt. It may be to choose to spend all day in your pyjamas or to watch back to back Christmas films. Or to sit and stare at a view or read a book.
Whether you choose to waste an hour, a day or even a week, what will you do to waste time well?
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs permission to waste time.
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Follow us on Twitter 3dclaire
Facebook 3D Coaching
Friday, November 06, 2009
3D Juggling 452: Grafham Water
Jane writes: 'A couple weeks age I spent some time sitting on the grass at Grafham Water. It was a clear, bright, late summer afternoon and the air was eerily still. So still that even though I was only a few meters from a road there was no road noise, totally blocked by the trees. The water was as still and reflective as glass. Sitting there was amazing. The noises on the water were so resonant and rang out so clearly into the silence. The reflections into the water were almost a perfect replica of the original. Watching a swan glide by doubled with its reflection made me really look and analyse what I was seeing.
It made me think about some of the Action learning Sets I had facilitated recently where the presenter has been able to really hear things with the same sort of clarity in their heads because of the silence held by the set. And how reflections when we have space and quiet to really make sense of them are so much more powerful.
As Eric Hoffer writer and philosopher says: ”It is not so much the example of others we imitate as the reflection of ourselves in their eyes and the echo of ourselves in their words.'
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes silence.
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Jane writes: 'A couple weeks age I spent some time sitting on the grass at Grafham Water. It was a clear, bright, late summer afternoon and the air was eerily still. So still that even though I was only a few meters from a road there was no road noise, totally blocked by the trees. The water was as still and reflective as glass. Sitting there was amazing. The noises on the water were so resonant and rang out so clearly into the silence. The reflections into the water were almost a perfect replica of the original. Watching a swan glide by doubled with its reflection made me really look and analyse what I was seeing.
It made me think about some of the Action learning Sets I had facilitated recently where the presenter has been able to really hear things with the same sort of clarity in their heads because of the silence held by the set. And how reflections when we have space and quiet to really make sense of them are so much more powerful.
As Eric Hoffer writer and philosopher says: ”It is not so much the example of others we imitate as the reflection of ourselves in their eyes and the echo of ourselves in their words.'
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes silence.
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
Friday, January 09, 2009
Juggling in 3D 412: WAIT
We still have a couple of spaces at the Action Learning Training on 29th January. The next London date will be April 1st, so book soon. There has also been a cancellation for the Coaching for Excellence starting in January and we will be able to offer one space at a concessionary rate - call Claire for more details.
Claire writes: "One of my supervisees arrived the other day with a piece of paper which he takes to training events. It says WAIT. Why Am I Talking? What a great tool to have in front of you in a group or a committee!
When she is having a conversation, Nancy Kline, asks people to indicate when they have done all their thinking lest she interrupt their silence before they are ready to move on."
"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence." Jorge Luis Borges
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who... well - you decide!"
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
We still have a couple of spaces at the Action Learning Training on 29th January. The next London date will be April 1st, so book soon. There has also been a cancellation for the Coaching for Excellence starting in January and we will be able to offer one space at a concessionary rate - call Claire for more details.
Claire writes: "One of my supervisees arrived the other day with a piece of paper which he takes to training events. It says WAIT. Why Am I Talking? What a great tool to have in front of you in a group or a committee!
When she is having a conversation, Nancy Kline, asks people to indicate when they have done all their thinking lest she interrupt their silence before they are ready to move on."
"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence." Jorge Luis Borges
Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who... well - you decide!"
Discuss this week's juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/
© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
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