Monday, March 07, 2011

3D Juggling 518: Say What You See

As well as seeing clients this week, we will be putting into action some of the ideas which we came up with in our conversation with Business Link last week.  Lynn has plans to go to Leicester several times in the next few weeks.  Contact us if you'd like to meet her for coffee to talk about how we can help you. This week's juggling revisits something we said a few years ago (3D Juggling 367) because we think it's important! Remember that you can access all the old 3D Jugglings online

Claire writes: "The technical term is dissonance. The reality is that sometimes people will say one thing and their body language and whole demeanour will be saying something else. Sometimes there is just a mismatch, but usually something else is going on. The skill of the coach or, in fact, the good friend or colleague is to say what you see. No interpretation. No inference. Just to say what you notice. I have seen huge power in simple interventions like that in coaching which I have observed over the last couple of weeks.

It's the simplicity which carries the power. When a friend tells you how excited they are about all the extra work they've taken on, yet they look weighed down, the power is just to say what you notice. Quick reaction often forces us into: Are you sure you're not working too hard? I think you may have taken on too much. You must be careful. Those comments often produce defensiveness in their receivers. Simple is powerful: I hear you telling me how exciting the work is. And I see your body looking exhausted. What's that about?

It works with what you hear, as well!"

© 2008 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: and send a copy/ link to

‘Intuition really does come from the gut. It's also a kind of matching game based on experience.   There are times when trusting your gut is the smartest move—and times you'd better think twice.’
Carlin Flora

We use gut feelings when coaching or trying to achieve a ‘break through’ in difficult situations.  People tell us that this saves them a lot of time and enables transformational change.  We can teach you how to recognise and use your gut feelings – and what to do when these prove to be wrong.

We cover this on Coaching for Excellence the next one is on 8/9 June and 5/6 July 2011 in Milton Keynes.

No comments: