3D Juggling 519: Get it on the table
We’ve been uploading videos from last week’s Career Makeover Masterclass onto our new YouTube channel this week. We are planning to upload more of our ideas so that they will be freely available on the website, through YouTube – and maybe one day through our new discovery AudioBoo
Claire writes: How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone - at work or at home - and it has turned either into an argument or a monologue?
We have learned two things over the years about good conversations.
- You only get one go! If you blow it, it will take you hours/ days/ months/ years to recover the relationship. Real play can help you here - say it out loud and have the conversation with the dog, a colleague, a friend or a coach before you do it for real. This is not rehearsal or a script but you will be amazed what you learn when you speak out those three points you have written down.
- Have the conversation on the table: Performance management - whether for staff or volunteers - can sometimes become confrontational when you do it face to face One way forward is to put the issue literally on the table by using objects to describe it and play with it so that it becomes something you can see and manipulate rather than it being in your head. This will take the pressure out of the situation. Sit with your colleague and point at the objects: This is me - this is you. What I see happening is... I wonder what we need to do? What do you see? How is this impacting? You can both manipulate the objects to understand what is going on.
Christine had to have a difficult conversation the other day and she rang us: "Talking things through with you helped me to think strategically rather than emotionally about a very difficult situation.Your guidance provided me with a structure to work within that I would never have come up with on my own - it meant that I was able to communicate clearly and authoritatively in a non-confrontational way. Thank you."
Are there times when real play or table conversations will help you? Think about it...
In our coaching and team supervision work, we have learned to explore team dynamics, by sculpting the team – either with people – or as a picture on a flipchart. This can create clarity and more understanding between team members of what is actually going on.
P Hawkins, N Smith. Coaching, Mentoring and Organisational Consultancy (McGraw Hill)